GARD'S LAWS ON LOVE
- If you meet a woman, and you like her, then she...
- has a boyfriend
- is lesbian
- has many friends she prefers to you
- doesn't notice you're there
- If a girl likes you, then you won't know before she has lost her interest in you and it is impossible to get her back.
- If you meet a girl who likes you, and you like her, and she doesn't have a boyfriend, then she will have one within the week, and it isn't you.
- The only way to win a girl is to take her love for granted (if you keep questioning it, she'll get tired of you).
- If you take love for granted, everything will just go to hell.
- If you don't have a girlfriend, there's always someone to remind you about it.
- If you know a girl, date her, etc. etc. and in the end tell her that you love her, you won't hear from her again for the rest of your life.
- About who picks you up:
- If you're heterosexual, then homosexuals will try to pick you up.
- If you're homosexual, then heterosexuals will try to pick you up.
- If you're BI-sexual, then no one will try to pick you up.
- If you have a friend who knows a girl who is desperately looking for a boy, he'll splice her with someone else.
- About finding love:
- If you hope that you have found love, you'll get very disappointed.
- If you think that you have found love, you're wrong.
- If you know that you have found love, you have been misinformed.
- If you have found love, you won't know about it before it is lost.
- There's always someone who is happy his/her entire life, and it isn't you.
- If you both love something, she'll hate it next week.
- About winning/losing:
- If you don't have anything to lose, you won't win.
- If you have something to lose, you'll lose it.
- If you don't have anything to win, you'll win so that you can lose more.
- If she's having a good time, it's not because of you.
- About dating:
- If she didn't say anything, she'll bring her boyfriend she never told you about.
- If she arrives with her girlfriend, it's because she wants some kind of protection, not to put the two of you together.
- If she comes alone, it's because she looks at you as a friend, and there isn't a chance in the world you'll ever be more than a friend.
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